Good weekend.. Rough first day back at work.

Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.”

Trying my hardest to spend each day the best I can in healing, and try not to push myself to hard. It's a tough job...
Day 11 Smoke-Free

Saturday- Was rather nice. I spent the morning watching ESPN College Gameday and playing with my yellow lab (such a dork), than I did some chores around the house & took dog for walk. Joined my bestie for some quick shopping and than off to bar to watch the 4 college games I wanted to watch. First time at a bar and FIRST TIME not smoking. Odd thing was that I only wanted to smoke when I was there once. Was surprisingly easy for me... Than headed over to some friends house for some drinks (my husband drank enough for both of us LOL) as drinking is not in my cards yet. Watched some football, saw some friends I haven't seen since my surgery. Planted my ass on the couch, and didnt move for 5 hours and 2 football games... My friend has the lovely facebook photo that she posted if you dont believe me.. My hair looks like I havent moved for 2 football games. LOL After my friends had clearly drank enough for me as well, and a massive headache from not eating (somehow chips, cheese, burgers and salsa didnt seem something I should eat) me and hubbie headed home.

Sunday- Woke up feeling pretty good. Cleaned the house as much as I could. Got a wave of exhaustion, so sat down and watched the Seahawks. God I hate Petey... Headed out to groceries and items for house with hubbie. Was good. I was able to walk around the stores and make it unitl about the last 30 mins, I got really exhausted. Spent some time with sister afterwards. Her partner has decided to quit smoking as well.... She JUST decided yesterday... Going to be a rough few days for both of them *prayers for them*... Started bleedng last night, which doctor said would happen.. He didnt mention the pain of it though... So I ended up flat out on the couch, heating pad and armed with fleece blanket.. Watched Jerslicious... Laughed at the girls... Made me feel better for some reason.... Life really is about more than hair and makeup.. Except Gigi.. I like her. She has a good heart <3

Had a dream last night I was smoking.. I woke up in tears and a complete panic. I even had the awful taste in my mouth, so I had to rush into the bathroom and brush teeth at 4:00am. Than BAM pain. Holy lower ab pain. I ended up laying in bed, petting my cat till the alarm went off this morning. Woke up, let out dog, and as I was walking back from the garage feeding my dog, BAM stabbing pain and I fell to the ground in the garage. Puppy barked I think in effort to wake up hubbie. Didnt work. Balls. Not a good way to start ot my first morning back. Showered and brushed teeth. Made hubbie lunch and started my nice new yummy smoothies... Than I realized that yogurt and OJ was spilling everywhereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. Fuck. I hadnt checked to make sure it was on right. Balls. OJ EVERYWHERE. Awesome hot stickie mess. Hubbie laughed... Made it into work, and feeling exhausted. Hoping to check emails (all 73 of them...) and maybe get some work done. Than head home noonish. I am all ready exhausted.