Fuck the food police

I have two totally seperatr things to right about.. the first one is a complete and total vent... As Kidd Kraddick would say "Yes I am a size 2... Yes I feel I need to work out constantly.. Yes I hate eating. No I don't have an eating disorder and GET OVER IT!!!!"

I am soooooooooooooooo sick of people looking at me, or lecturing me and explaining to me how I need to eat more.. I need ____________. Okay people seriously. I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!!! Ooooo you are so skinny.. Thanks. I'm hungry. Usually followed by ackward laughter from the person trying to figure out how on earth this food idea doesn't appeal to me. People I do not have an eating disorder (friend pointed this out this weekend..) Thanks. Again. Eating hurts for me and reminds me EVERY time I eat, the limited choices I have with food. Could I ate some things.. sure. Followed by a raging angry body for about a week until I go into the weekend.. and drink. Suddenly I feel better. It numbs my stomach. It allows me to eat. Ugh.

Imagine this scenario. At a bar.. watching football.. and suddenly my friend starts talking to me about eating.. if I had eaten at all today. Come to think of it. No.. But it's because I felt good.. So why fuck with it.. But I get you wouldn't understand this.. None of this comes out of my mouth instead I say simply "Eating isn't fun" and return to watching my game. People don't tell you when you are to fat (I was there at all most 200 pounds.. So yes, I have a right to say this.)... People don't point out that when the fat lady is buying a whopper with cheese, large fry and DIET coke.. No one questions their eating habits.. BUT MINE?!? OMFG. Stoppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp.. I happen to like healthy food somewhat.. OMG such a fault. Again no one can ever understand this.. I weight 135lbs, not 2 so shut it. It's insulting & painful to talk about... Sometimes I end up in tears outside smoking just trying to be alone and breath. It's hard to tell people that your body hate you.. that it gets mad and rages a war upon your body even more fun & exciting than the last.

And so someday I will shout the following. I AM FINE!!! I am extremely happy (minus a few neurotic hormone moments.. but who doesnt have those? Even men do.. Ask any wife or girlfriend or best friend of a complete asshole..). I like my life. Yes I struggled through a LOT mentally and physically but hey guess what?!? I survived. I am a fighter & a strong women... and for that I don't want to talk about my eating habits any more than I do about you do about sex.