Eat like shit.. Feel like shit..

Go figure.. I will be the first to admit. After Labor Day weekend, I felt "ok" after eating the crap food (for me anyways) all weekend, and mildly felt like I was getting away with assault... So I took a few days off, and than football happened this weekend. I ate a cheese nip here, and some there.. Than I ate some cheese. And while I didn't feel great, I could still function the next day. Ate me some taco bell and Jack in the Box this weekend... wondering when I was going to get caught for murder.. and guess what?!? DNA busted me. I feel like complete crap. The last two weeks of "spoiling" myself is FINALLY catching up to me. I knew at some point the amount of food (more like the type) was going to get me.... I KNEW it would happen.. But somehow I kept pushing the limits and eating just one more bite. To be honest with you, when a certain food makes you sick the next day or for weeks later, it isn't like a food allergy where it's an instant pain, and something you have to deal with right away.. It's a complete and total mental game. Oooooooooooo can I get away with this?!?!? I CAN! Well than let's eat more... It's crazy. I guess in some ways it's like a mild eating disorder.. the fear of foods. Sometimes I find myself sneaking cheese nips (note to self throw the fuck away) hiding behind the pantry so my hubbie doesn't see me... *sigh* It's a CONSTANT battle, and it isn't something that is like a diet "Oh I broke it, I can go back" or an food allergy "like me and pineapple"..... It is something that you have to fight with EVERY damn day and to be honest it's freaking exhausting.

Here is how I feel after eating "bad food" for 2 weeks (i.e cheese and some wheat.. LITTLE)
My stomach goes back and forth between constipated, cramping & MASSIVE loose stools
My nose is so freaking congested I can barely breath
My eyes burn like crazy
I am exhausted
Grumpy
Moody
Feel bloated
No way I can plan anything around my stomach
No sleep cycle
No sex drive
and I am CONSTANTLY worried about WHEN the day is going to come when the food I ate will come back like a veneage.... It's like being a fugitive and constantly running...