Unhealthy me needs to be fired.

"I am ill at these numbers” -William Shakespeare

Today is Friday, which means I will weigh myself at the gym. I felt inclined to point out that while I am still a size 4, I use to weigh 180+ and also rocked a size 14, with probably a 16 being needed, but I refused to rock that size.,. I am not some twig who is obsessed with weight, and trying to maintain my figure, I am someone who not only use to be fat, but so incredibly unhealthy, I think back to those days and it makes me shudder. The pasta dishes I would eat with the loaded cheese on top of cheese. I would eat out regularly and I also would be in and out of the doctor's office weekly. I was soooooooooooooooooo unhealthy and my body was hurting in more ways than one. I had 3 surgeries within a 4 month window, and couldn't recover from the first surgery. Weight for me isn't just a vain thing, it's a life or death thing for my auto-immune diseases. And so, I post some photos of the belly bloat I am feeling and also what I am talking about. Yes I am a size 4, but my belly feels like a size 14 all over again!!!! You can see (and I can see) how extremely bloated my tummy is, and quite frankly it hurts. Its part of my chronic pelvic pain I am fighting, and something I am hoping to get back to healthy!!!!

In an effort to maybe help some other allergy sufferers out there and people who have restricted diets, I am going to start posting some of my yummy & delicious alternatives for foods. For lunch yesterday I had a yummy Turkey sandwich with 2 slices of Jack cheese, lettuce, mayo and mustard. I use Udi's GF bagels which are amazing. Pop them in the microwave for 40% power for 1.15mins and BAM you got yourself some yummy snadiwch material straight out of the freezer! I also included some Safeway Mini Crispy Rice Snacks (kettle corn flavor) as I can't eat potatoes, which means I can't eat chips! All and all, a yummy GF and potato free lunch!!!

I have Pilate's today and I will be weighing myself at the gym. I am HOPING I have maintained my weight at 138ish, and I am praying I have not gained any weight. I have busted my ass this week at not only work but at the gym and eaten only foods that my body can handle... So here is hoping!!!

My eyes started to bug me yesterday which is scary. See when my body attacks me, it attacks my corneas and builds scar tissue on them. The reason I am taking chemo meds on a weekly basis. It suppresses my immune system. Basically thinking that my eyes are a foreign matter, and wrecks my eyes. It feels like someone rubbed sandpaper all over them, and I have had 3 surgeries to remove the scar tissue. Let me tell you it's about as painful as it sounds, and even more painful when you wake up in the middle of the surgery, while they are cutting the tissue. *shudder* So I made sure to ice my eyes last night, put in my steroid drops and get some sleep. I KNOW it's from the stress and hours I have been working, so I just need to maintain it to and keep a watch on it. But still, it's a scary scary premise to something and a path I don't want to go down!!!!