Can't help but laugh...

Went to my Auto-Immune doctor yesterday paranoid that my symptoms were being caused by my meds which have made my eyes function so well! I went into his office, and he was chatting with me, and went to check my ears and said "WOW! girlie you got a serious ear infection!". Which would explain the vertigo symptoms I was having. So he gave me some solution to help rinse out my ear, but the more he thought of it, he wanted me to go see my primary care doctor, to which they made the phone call and off I went. When I got to my primary care doctor, he checked out my ears, and said he could see all the wax and build up around my ear drum, and what appears to be some edge of a Q-tip. So they poured the solution into my ear and let it sit. All the while I am trying to not puke on any of my doctors! Doc went to pull out the ear wax out of my ear and out POPS THE WHOLE END OF A Q-TIP!!! No joke, for real, the whole end of a fucking Q-Tip. I couldn't help but laugh my fucking ass off. The doc said that this was one for the record books. I was just happy that it could be explained all my symptoms no matter how bizarre they were they could be explained!!!! Seriously still laughing g my ass off!!!

On a harder note. My husband was right, I started smoking again here and there, and sure enough, BAM I am smoking now on any occasion or excuse I have to smoke. I SO DON'T want to be here again. It is expensive, it stinks and is a disgusting and filthy habit. Plus like a bad boyfriend, it slowly starts to come back into your life and you cant get it out!!!! And here I am, back right in the same relationship we use to be in. I always thought I was stronger than this, but I don't think I am. I don't like thinking about when I am going to smoke or hiding it from my amazing hubbie. I threw away a pack I had bought, and I am hoping & going to try and fight with all my mite to NOT smoke. I hate it and I am so mad at myself I let it slowly creep back into my life. It increases my anxiety and it makes me feel all ancy. I HATE IT and I want it gone. I keep thinking over in my head what Steve Carr (I think that is his name) said about the little nicotine monster, and I need to remember that I DON'T NEED SMOKING IN MY LIFE!!!! Breathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and I want to get this shit out of my system. I like my smokes, but I don't like it ruling my life again!!!!