Rip it out..

It's all relative.. and to me it's INCREDIBLY relative today!!!!

Days like today.. Where I feel like I am going to pee my pants, my stomach is all fucked up and I generally hurt make me want to just rip out my fucking uterus. I have an AMAZING day ahead of me..a modeling gig and than I am volunteering my time for a local charity event, and I am so excited. I just feel like death.. I hurt everywhere... I try and hide the pain, because I have to... and I know (and hope) it will subside in any given hour or time... But I am just sick of it.. i think of the struggles I got through every day, and the meds I take and I wonder can I really even have kids.... I don't know... Today is just an incredibly hard day... I am a positive person, and I will move forward & onward like I always do... plus my period is going to start this weekend which ALWAYS makes all my symptoms flare... Makes all my wires in my body go completely haywire... I am hoping a day of getting my hair done, modeling & volunteering my time with wash away the pain for the day... *sigh*