24 hours of Detox.

"Be master of yourself everywhere. All you do prooves true" - Zen Saying-

Welp I made it through the night, and realized the most important lesson, which is I need to put more attention into what I eat and what I am putting into my body. Hubbie and I last night made some Minestrone Soup and it was AWESOME! We added some Tinkaydi noodles to it, as noted on the bottom, and it was the bomb. It even filled up my hubbie! Next time, I am totally going to make this soup, but add some italian turkey to it, and saute the turkey with the garlic and onions. Still totally healthy and yummy, BUT has some meat in it for protein!! I ended up eating a Fagel (wheat-free bagel) last night with some butter and cinnamon, my tummy was feeling cramped, and I know cinnamon can help it.

While I don't think detoxing is the easiest thing to do during the busy season, I do know I have learned some valuable lessons thus far, and that being that sometimes you need to go just stick with the basics. My husband has gotten super re-energized as well, and it going to try some Crock Pot Fish Stew Friday night!!! YUMMY! He has seen that we need to stop feeding ourselves with so much crap. And by crap I mean crap for us. Need to watch the dairy, and I need foods in the house which i can eat when I am hungry. I also made some Wheat-Free Bread in my bread maker, and this morning before work I sliced it up, and froze it. Perfect :-) This morning I ate some yummy apples and a banana. Instead of Decaf coffee (which needs to go back to a weekend thing) I had some hot water with a splash of sugar-free creamer. Like coffee, but good for me ;-)

For lunch today, left over soup and a slice of yummy GF bread ;-) No time for work out, as I need to go get my check up for my blood work for the chemo meds I am on.

Lessons learned in Detox so far...

Well few things...
1) Listening to your body is SUPER key in this. No not just the I am hungry this suck shit, but like the real, my body needs more of something. Like this morning when I felt all dizzy, I should of listened sooner, but I wasn't sure if I was detoxing, or lacking something. Turns out I needed protein!!!
2) SUPER important to be surrounded by amazing people in your life who support you. Hubbie brought me flowers today to cheer me up ;-)
3) Oranges fucking rock! I had no idea. Well scratch that I did.. BUT I always hated peeling those damn things. SO than I watched hubbie cut one a few weeks ago, and I was like oooooooooooooo thats how!!!! So I tried it just now, and oranges are amazing snack and source of Vitamin C. Plus they help my sweet tooth I get sometimes while sitting at the desk for hours..
4) Detox is hard, but it made me realize how much shit I was putting into my body. How I was thinking about the processed foods I am putting into me. I HAVE to think about this. I am not a normal person who can eat and think later, I have to think about my auto-immune diseases and how they get triggered (or can) by stress and foods.

Looking forward to make some Italian detox pasta or minestrone soup tonight!!!!
Hubbie even said he would try it with me. <3 

Detox Update...

HOLY BALLS AM I GRUMPY!!!!! Never mind the fact how I started my morning, oh and I should mention yesterday I found out my ex-friend (key word ex) has been running around town running off her mouth. SO to add to that, I feel genuinely broken hearted anyways.

SO I broke down and ate half a packet of oatmeal. It isn't cheese and it isn't processed foods, so guess what?!? I did. Cured the massive headache I was having and the massive dizziness. I realize now how the lack of exercise and shit I have been putting in my body (for me, the normal person it would be healthy) really has been effecting my body...I feel like I did when I cut out caffeine last March, which well it was hell.

SO I went to Yoga class. First off my favorite instructor was out sick :( but than this stupid and obviously first time yoga student shows up 10mins late. Fine whatever. BUT THAN she worse these fucking bangle bracelets that clanked every time she moved and went with the poise. REALLY?!?! SERIOUSLY?!? I couldn't take the clank clanky anymore, and so I left. FIRST TIME EVER! SO RUDE! Yoga is about you and your practice, but you still have to be considerate of other people.

So I went to get lunch at grocery store. I noticed I could smell the Baja Fresh down the street, never smelled that before and the fast food joint down the street. Weird. I ended up getting brown rice, pinto beans and some green taco sauce. I HAVE to eat something besides fruit. Sorry but with working 11+ hour days, it just isn't feasible. Part of the detox site, I read Quinao and Beans, so I am hoping this is along the same lines. I am actually feeling little better, and not so well mean. Still bitchy but not mean. Hey like life, everything needs adjusting sometimes. I have recognized that I do need to STOP putting some shit into my body.

Soooooooooooooo much work to do, off I go.

BLARG

So not started out to a good morning. I woke up feeling sort of blah, soI tried to make the best of my morning at 5am before I went to work, and made my husband lunch, got my veggies and such together for my 3 day detox which starts today, and as I reach over to kiss my husband, a batshit crazy old friend of ours had texted him AT 6AM asking if they could talk yet?!?!? REALLY?!?!? SO INAPPROPRIATE. So than as I was driving to work, all I wanted to do was stop and get a coffee, and say fuck the detox program. See its' hard when you work non-stop to have willpower with much of anything else. BUT I made it into work, and tried to make the best of it.

So than I went into the kitchen, and made my apples, bananas and grapes.  I was suppose to make a green smoothie, but I ran out of time. Balls. So I improvised and got all the fruits that were suppose to make it in there, and just made a non-smoothie. Didn't have time to make my salad, as I made my husband a lunch and I also realized on my list last night, I had neglected the part of my list which was for the green chef salad. Balls. So than I plan on hitting up Whole Foods after yoga to just buy a salad. I don't know what else to do. I need the salad, and that's the best place I can think of. Ah fuck, I just remembered I forgot my dressing. Mo Fo!!! Maybe I can ask my husband to pick one up for me... Or maybe I can hit up Safeway and make it work. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I came into work, and started to put together a monitor for our billing staff, and WAM hit my head on the desk as I was coming up. I all most started crying, in fact I think I did shed a tear. MY MORNING SUCKS!!!! I am trying so hard to keep my chin up, and keep it all together, but its really hard. I am hungry, my stomach is KILLING me from the cheese I ate last night with the eggs, and I feel like I weigh 200+ lbs. All I want to do is go back to sleep. I KNOW I need to do this detox plan, and help to get the shit out of my body I have been putting in, and get my ass back on track but its hard (or a test from the higher powers) to do so when all you want to do is go back to bed!!!!! I'm starving, and all I want to do is drink delicious and sinful decaf coffee, and say fuck it BUT I AM SCARED TO DEATH that sooner or later my body is going to revolt if I don't start paying more attention to it!!! I am grumpy, my head is KILLING me and I feel like tearing someone's head off. SO NOT how I envisioned my day.

Time to get back in the saddle and ride this bitch!

"Life is denied by lack of attention, whether it be to cleaning windows or trying to write a masterpiece" -Nadia Boulanger

Lately I have been devoting myself 150% to work, and I am doing ok, but I need to devote some attention to my body. One disadvantage to taking chemo meds to suppress my immune system (besides sleep problems) is that I seem to catch every fucking cold I come across. I think this is cold #4 but in all honesty I have lost track. Thankfully when I have the dreaded cough flu, it ended in antibiotics and was able to clea it up. NOW I am stuck with a cold in my nose/head, and I cant seem to kick it. Another week I think its time to go back on anti-botics.

However lately I haven't been rocking yoga as much, or hitting the gym. While everyone keeps telling me how great I look (apparently I was anoxeria skinny last year) now everyone tells me how I look better with weight on me. Another issue for another day but WHEN did it become ok to point out someone's weight?!? No one told me when I was 60+ lbs heavier and a size 14-16. SO WHY is is ok to say the opposite, how anoxeric and sick I look.. Ummmmmm when I was heavy I was unheatlhy to. Where were you than?!? Anyways, granted it is only 8-10lbs and I am still rocking a size 4, I dont feel good inside myself. I feel like I weight 200+ and like a size 16. I dont feel good, I just feel heavy. So I have been searching for the last few months for a good detox program to rock, but with my limited food choices, it is really fucking hard. So I keep searching and yesterday I think I hit the jack pot! My new new detox program will follow this, I personally LOVE it. The recipes like the homemade bread and granola seem amazing. I need to write up a work-out plan and yoga plan for myself, and stop working straight through lunch, and get to it!!! I know I will feel better on the inside, which is what matters. I am thinking 3-4 days every 2 weeks and see what happens. I just feel overwhlemed with toxins and well shit in me. I really want to try and rock my body back to the toned girl I was last year. I had my all my pain starting in July last year, and than my fucking waste of time surgery, and than followed by a deep depression, the new year and than the season. So I fell off the wagon and it's time to get back in the saddle!!! My plan is to rock the grocery store Sunday with my amazing and SUPER supportive husband, and get ready for detox!!!