Pregnancy symptoms?!?!

If it wasn't for my IUD, I would totally and 100% think I was prego..For the last 2 weeks, I have been very nauseated, and it seems nothing alleviates it. I have like zero appetite and I am having a hard time feeling energetic and motivated... Which so isn't me. This weekend for the 4th, I hung out with friends, and tried to be merry and social, but every time I stand up, I get dizzy & feel like I am going to barf. It's a horrible beelining. Top it off, last Friday I came down with wicked cough cold, and have a hendrous cough. I basically feel like crap. I just want to go back to sleep. My husband keeps telling me that I need to go to the doctor, but I am so hesitant. I know that with stomach problems comes a whole rash of tests (like blood work, tummy tests and maybe even a scope)... I just really don't want to go through all of that.. I have been through this so many times, where you go through all these tests and NOTHING comes of it except you are more in debt with the medical community. Sure my hubbie has amazing health insurance now, and it wouldn't be like my old insurance.... BUT I just don't want to go through all the tests again. I know with an IUD, pregnancy is still a possibility, while it is rare, I know it is possible. I am half tempted for $5 to go down and pick up a test, just to rule it out. I know that sometimes it happens, a surgery needs to be done to remove it... But god why can't my stomach/vomiting issues just go away!!! I keep thinking they are going to, and than I feel dizzy, sick to my stomach and weak. I don't know what I want to do..... 

Cold stop!

I have sworn by these herbs for years, and my husband has always thought I was crazy.. In fact most people when I tell them, look at me like I am nuts, but man EVERY time I feel like a cold is coming on, you start taking these. Dr. Shen's Yin Chiao . At the sign of a cold, you take 3 pills every 3 hours for the remainder of the day, and let me tell you, THEY WORK!!! Yesterday I was feeling awful. Woke up and I couldn't breathe out of my nose, and my head was killing me. I was freaking exhausted and felt like I got ran over by a bus. There is a ton of different colds going around, and one comes with a gnarly ass cough & stays around for weeks. NO THANK YOU!!! So I stayed home from work and took the pills. I woke up this morning with some head congestion, but feel 90% better!!! My husband even takes them now. He sees the power in them. For him, when he takes them they make him sweat it all out during the night, sort of like his body is trying to sweat out the poison. For me they make me pee a lot, and my stomach flush out. Whatever it is, it works and it kicks ass!!!

Fighting a cold :(

Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down.”

So fucking true... I am taking my own advice, and hitting up group yoga flow class today at lunch. I need to reconnect with my body and self. It has been a busy ass week between work and personal lives. It has been a whirlwind of work and events to attend. Mentally and physically I think I was tapped the fuck out. I went home early from work at 6:00 (only worked 10hrs LOL) and ate dinner, and than headed right to sleep. I slept from 6:30pm-6:00am this morning. It was AMAZING and much needed. I am fighting a congestion cold right now, but this morning I don't feel so pained and mentally beat. I think the mental break for 12hrs was good for me. I always say that sometimes you need to sneak away to your dreams. I am not really surprised I got a cold, before last night I slept for like 8hrs in 3 days, which even for the healthiest of people isn't healthy!!!

So far so good on my immune system!!! YEA YEA!!! The IUD is working well, and I have spotted/bleed all week!!! What a huge improvement! It was like one day, things just got better. Funny how life works like that. I can't post much, because the quicker i get my work done, the quicker I can get out of here!!!!

sometimes.. a smile is just hard

I don't know if it is the post weather blues, or if it is the holidays or what. But every time I turn around, I am just saddened. Seems as though things keep seeming to let me down. I am on a roller coaster and I want the fuck off. My body is In a tailspin of confusion starting with my "cycle" (use term loosely since I am on IUD) so I probably should call it shedding, not cycle. So anyways, that start last week and I got this awful cold on Christmas. It started the night before, to which I just thought I was having an allergy attack, and it turns out my nose is like a faucet and leaking like a seave. I was drugged on allergy meds and painkillers for most of Christmas, turns out it wasn't everything I thought it would be and more. I just felt like crap. I guarantee you if any of my family members where as sick as I was, they would be whining and bitching, but I sucked it up. I just generally have been down this week or so. I feel very emotionally exhausted. Lot of things have happened in the last montt or so, and I find myself an emotional wreck, since I am having a hard time being strong... I am just emotionally exhausted and well my heart hurts. It has been quite the ride this last few months with SO MANY things going on both personally and through work. I think mentally I am just done with 2010. Bring on 2011.

I have gained 10lbs. Which I am finding out from most people this is a good thing, apparently I look "better" with 10lbs on me. Somehow I beg to differ with them. At 5'7" and weighing 125ish this summer, I will admit that i was getting a little worried about being slender, and bones, but I felt good (for the most part) and damnit for the first time EVER in life I could rock a bikini and be happy about it. I felt good. Which people don't seem to get that. Granted I am a size 4 still, and I can still wear the same clothes, but I think I just have put some junk in the trunk and also some on the sides, which I guess is a good thing. But I am having a hard time with it. I don't feel tone, and I FEEL like I weigh a lot more and it bugs me. I Don't like feeling bloated majority of the time, which is how I feel. However I know that come busy season, and the Lake trip coming up in May, I will be back on the work-out/toning trip soon.

Stupid cold :(

Last thursday I stayed home from work, felt a cold coming on and didnt want to get anyone else sick. Felt better on Friday, or I just choose to ignore it, I think probably the later. Threw an epic birthday party for my girl and than went all day to a football game. Tailgated from 1-5 and than game at night. ya it was like 38' I think... Sunday monring woke up feeling like death. Did nothing all day, but did manage to head out with hubie and get some groceries. Come Monday, my body was MAD AS HELL. Since then, I have been stuck at home. Trying to use this time to Xmas shop and plan out my Black Friday plan of actio.n... I feel like crap, My eyes are brunig anf hurt, and to top if off I have this awful cold. BLAH. God I wish it would go away. I just want to go to work!!! Odd I know, but I love my work. its my sense of calm. Snowed like  inches here last night. Crazy and hello winter. 

Side note. Aunt flow is suppose to come today. So far her flight has been delayed. Normally I would be worried, but with the chemo meds I am on, I never know when it will come.... Doesn't matter anyways, with all my meds I wouldn't have a "decision" to make anyways, my meds all ready made it for me.... All though as hard as it would be, I couldn't at this time in my life. Still baby crazy.. Thankfully my IUD goes in next week. I am anxious and scared for it... I am hoping for the benefits of he IUD and not the negative. Spoke with a friend last weekend about IUD, and she said after 3-6 months is really how long you have to wait for it to come through and for your body to adjust. 

I need tis fucking cold to go away. I have had to put my work outs, my energy sessions, my doctors appts, work and basically everything on hold. I am SO OVER IT!!!!! To exhausted to even type more. Blah.