Yoga quote

Just saw this... AWESOME explanation of science and yoga...

The autonomic nervous system is divided into the sympathetic system, which is often identified with the fight-or-flight response, and the parasympathetic, which is identified with what's been called the relaxation response. When you do yoga - the deep breathing, the stretching, the movements that release muscle tension, the relaxed focus on being present in your body - you initiate a process that turns the fight or flight system off and the relaxation response on. That has a dramatic effect on the body. The heartbeat slows, respiration decreases, blood pressure decreases. The body seizes this chance to turn on the healing mechanisms.

Richard Faulds

Tears in yoga

Yoga, an ancient but perfect science, deals with the evolution of humanity. This evolution includes all aspects of one's being, from bodily health to self realization. Yoga means union - the union of body with consciousness and consciousness with the soul. Yoga cultivates the ways of maintaining a balanced attitude in day to day life and endows skill in the performance of one's actions.

B.K.S. Iyengar

See for me, this is an amazing thing. Miss P has this way of just bringing out the inner ability to just let gggggggggooooooooooo of whatever the fuck is holding on to you... I love her class, and she is an amazing instructor. I don't know what it is about her class, but something with her flows, rhythm and the way she teaches, I usually end up in relaxation pose, and tears start streaming down my face. See for me, this is an amazing thing.. It isn't tears of sadness, or pain, they are tears of letting go and I love it!!! See yoga for me is amazing.. The ability for me to let go, and stop holding on t the hurt, and the pain. It's so incredibly healing and I need to get my ass back to practicing 4+ times a week.

On another note... Yoga for me means no pain for an hour. I know these crazy to the average person, but to me, I live with chronic pain every day... Every day is different and it all depends on life events & how my bitchy ass immune system is feeling on that given day. Every day is different. I wake up every morning and feel my different body parts, and do a little assessment of how things feel... It's crazy, but it something I have to do EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.... Yoga for me is an hour without pain. One hour... whenever I practice without pain! It's such an awesome thing. I tell my hubbie this and he smirks, in a loving way knowing how awesome that is for me, but he also doesn't understand... I don't feel my gums bleeding or cut up like Freddie (that's going off the Methrodolizone and figuring out if I can survive without it) or my bladder doesn't feel like a burning razor.. My head doesn't hurt.. My eyes feel free & painless. It's such an AMAZING experience. I am so thankful that I found yoga and allowed myself to experience it.. live it and breath in the experience of yoga. I am so thankful that I have something I can do and not experience pain.  Words cannot describe it.. I would like them to.. but they cannot other than thankful. I am thankful that through all the shit & pain I have been through, I can find something to balance me.... and it's awesome!

Goddess

All too often in life, we forget to stop and remember the small things in life. Today in yoga class, I had an amazing day. For the first time ever I was able to follow Miss P through her tough abs Pilates/Yoga workout. I was totally feeling the poses and the moves today. So much I took my tank top off, and practiced with my sports bra and my yoga pants. I was feeling every breath and posture. I all most did a handstand and was able to get up in crow pose for a few seconds. While I can see my body improving in shape, I can also feel my strength internally. It was an amazing class and once to take note of for myself personally. I am proud through my busy season I have found some time for “me” and also the strength I have found in myself. It’s not easy struggling through the hardships I have had in life and battles I have had to face, but somehow no matter the obstacle, I find a way to survive. I left class today with my instructor saying “You are truly a goddess:”.  I guess she could sense my energy today ;-)

Don't be so quick to blame IUD!!!

Weight: 135.5
Mood: Exhausted but i am grinning from ear to ear
Workouts: BUSTED my ass this week!!

So I remember one thing distinctly when my lovely Doc IUD talked to me prior to IUD. She said "Does IUD make you gain weight?. Maybeeeeeeeeeeeeee but nothing can be proved and how can you blame the IUD on lifestyle choices!" She was very vague and non blaming on it, and I remember her face even when she said this. So i read other peoples comments and posts, and one could either assume 3 things:
1) IUD's are awful and make you gain weight
2) IUD's are amazing & no problem
3) Everyone else falls between, and gives up and takes it out.

Scar #1 from Worthless Surgery

Now. Let's think about this logically. My husband mentioned something to me last week while I eat a plate of rice pasta (I believed I ranted about this) made with turkey and only seasonings "That's a large plate of food!!!" to which I got all upset and fired up. Hindsite, he was right. Bastard. There was two important things I was forgetting in this equation. Sure hormone makes you gain weight. Everyone knows that, but everyone seem to forget that. It's what makes some girls have junk in their trunks, and boobs! Hell when I was on depo, I had Double D's!!! DOUBLE D's!!!! Which when I went off Depo, my boobies shrank allllllllllll the way down to a B!!! Now, if hormones can make you do that, why cant they make you gain weight. BUT here's the kicker. Why cant it be controllable? SO what you have to work a little harder and make a little extra effort. So be it. Taking the IUD out doesn't mean resuming a "normal life"by any means. To me it means pain, bleeding, suffering, lose of motivation and it hurts to walk. IUD removal means condoms again and no more spontaneous sex. It means suffering every day from the burning feeling I have in my pelvic area and horrible mind numbing periods. Its means blood clots coming out of my body in all places at all times. It means something I am not willing to accept. If I have to work harder, at least I can work harder and not be on the couch!!!! Taking out the IUD means this scar (pictured) will ALWAYS be there, and a reminder of pain, suffering, burned money and a VERY painful time in my life (thanks Dr. Greedy!). Words cannot describe what it feels like to look at yourself EVERY time and see these scars. You don't understand unless you have scars to remind you of a very haunting time, that fixed nothing and cost you thousands you are still paying off & a doctor who completely took advantage of a pained young women.

I busted my ass this week, watched what I ate and worked my bootie off, and look, I am back down to 135ish AND I got me some booty and boobies LOL No seriously, I think sometimes in America people are quick to judge and blame things for things like weight gain. Yes, I can see why people think the IUD made them gain weight, BUT if you read the posts after people have it taken out "HELP I CANT LOSE THE WEIGHT!" So logistically here, think about it. Maybe your lifestyle is to blame, not the IUD...

YOGA IS MY SAVOR!!!
I went to my Pilate's/yoga class today with my badass instructor. I should of stayed and work, but everyone was grumpy and I needed the release. Yoga is my savor. So I went. Mid way through class, I was completely in the zone with my eyes closed and sooooooooooo in the moment. Badass instructor asked us to breathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh into our bodies and let go with a motion called Wood Chopping. I did, and god dammit I start to tear up and I could feel this release from my body. The stress, the tension, the pain of the busy season was just "letting go" and I let the tears stream down my face. I felt so in touch with myself and my body it was AMAZING!!! Yoga practice went on, and towards the end we got into our favorite ending pose, whatever that may be for us. I sat with my legs crossed Indiana style and just breathed. Again the tears started to roll down my face. It felt so amazing. I went up to instructor after class, and said "Thank You". She looked at me and said that it was absolutely beautiful to see that release" and pointed to my eyes. AMAZING... What a day!!!!

Good post!

http://www.myyogaonline.com/community/blog/the-compassionately-selfish-wish-for-enlightenment?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+MyYogaOnlineNewWorldBlog+%28My+Yoga+Online+Blog%29

Tis the season..

As a people, we have become obsessed with Health.  There is something fundamentally, radically unhealthy about all this.  We do not seem to be seeking more exuberance in living as much as staving off failure, putting off dying.  We have lost all confidence in the human body.  ~Lewis Thomas, The Medusa and the Snail, 1979

For my Auto-immune issues to flair. I will never be under as much stress as I am right now!!! I love my job and I literally normally sacrifice my health for my job. I am optimistic and excited that this year is different through the means of holistic care & diet!!! Plus I am trying my hardesttttttttttttttttttt to rock yoga when I can. With the busy season starting in full swing, I struggled to start with my schedule, and I am adjusting. Slowly. I am hoping for 3 times a week at the LEAST for yoga, ideally it would 5 times a week, but 3 is my least point!!! Normally this time of year I would be in and out of the doctors offices, and so sick & in pain. So far SO GOOD (as I knock on wood). I am feeling positive that this is the times of change and so is my hubbie. With proper diet (I have refused to eat red meat or break that rule... which I don't count bean and bacon soup because are those bits even real?!?!?) and proper watching of my health, I am hoping to PAY OFF my medical bills through the spring and not add to them.

Acupuncture was AMAZING last Friday. I get it once a month. I wish I could do 3 weeks, but until I pay off some more debt, not going to happen. First time ever I feel asleep during it. It was sooooooooooooo relaxing.

Spotting is getting less and less every day, yesterday actually marks the 2 months mark for my IUD I think... somewhere around the first of the month. My hubbie and I are able to have sex more often, and more comfortably for not only him BUT ME!!! Today I was thinking about how well, not thinking about having sex last night which for me is HUGE!!! Normally I am so swollen and in pain, all I can think about the next day is the pain!!!! I cant even tell you the difference. I have less pain and cramping, and also bloating which is nice. My stomach pain has gone down half, and my headaches lessen. Now the tricky part is figuring out what is "normal" aches & pains for someone working 11+ hrs a day, and what I normally experience. Weird Weird feeling so much pain and than feeling better...

I love me some yoga...

Work is stressful right now, and with this 101/102 fever for 4 days earlier in the week, my body is to the max. I am trying to install new billing software for our firm, and so far its been a fucking nightmare. So my pelvic pain is flaring back up, and I need to learn to control it. Think of it as a infection, and that's the way it feels. Like a constant tense muscle. So I went to my yoga class today, I thought I would try a a new style, and I tried Sivananda. Wasn't sure what to expect from this, so I gave it a whirl. I enjoyed it. The teacher has an amazing voice, and the class slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd things down a little bit. She sings/chants for part of it, and I love how it makes you slow down and just breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Going to try and add this to my weekly routine, because somewhow my crisis I left at work, seem less crisisy when I came back and is now getting solved ;-)

Mind, body and working together

Been blogging with some fellow chronic pain peeps, and I have to say I am completely thankful and happy I got the pleasure of connecting with these people... Due to their posts, and my responses & blogging back & forth, I have realized that I need a second opinion... That I need to talk to another OB/GYN who doesnt immediately want to rip out my girlie parts, and call it good. Shall we say "Surgery Happy". Much like button happy with a older person and the computer LOL

So here is my plan. I looked at all the girlie docs in the area (I do live in a small town. By small I mean under 100,000 peeps up in the jeep.)  I researched all the doctors in the area (THANK YOU google maps LOL) and most were "this doc is licensed from blah blah blah and enjoys fishing & playing tennis with his wife... ect.. ect... and than I stumbled across this women who bought the practice from another docot r about 4 years ago or so (nice younger Doctor) and under the "About us" section I read the following..

A D.O. is a physician who, like an M.D., is licensed to prescribe medicine and perform surgery in all 50 states.  D.O. stands for Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine and signifies someone who has graduated from four years of medical school and three to five years of residency.  D.O.'s may practice in any area of medicine from primary care to neurosurgery.

How are D.O.'s Different ?D.O.'s are different than M.D.'s because they attend osteopathic medical schools,  where the philosophy is holistic, focusing on the whole person rather than just their symptoms.  Osteopathic medicine emphasizes disease prevention through diet, exercise and healthy lifestyle.  D.O.'s receive extra training in osteopathic manipulative medicine (OMM), a physical skill used to diagnose and treat problems with the muscles, bones and nerves.  OMM can be used to treat problems ranging from headaches to pelvic pain.  With the addition of OMM to the traditional skill set, D.O.'s offer the most comprehensive care in medicine today.

Granted I am not having any joint pain, BUT this means that the doctor is willing to treat the WHOLE body and not just rip out parts and through me under the knife again.  My plan is to discuss with her various treatment options for myself for heavy periods and also discuss the possiblty of IUD for birth control prevention and also for my general well being. Let's call old Doc... hmmmmmm Doc McHappySuregon saw me was I was on depo for 8+ years, and obviously my body was deciding that it had had enough. So he put me on MORE hormones via hormonal supplements ON TOP of the depo and my body completely fell apart.. Looking back at it, I think it was the beginning of my body "Out of Zen" aka fucking out of wack... So Doc McHappySurgeon took me off all my hormones, and life was great for awhile, and THAN wam all my supposed "bowel endometerosis" symptoms came back and he told me I needed surgery, to which I told him there had to be other otpions.... Waited all summer, massive & burning inflammation came back & he told me I have no other choice.. I even went home to my hubbie and said "We have no other choice." When one of the best surgeons in the country tells you that, you listen."

Flash forward to now, and I remember having conversations with him about the IUD and how it could benefit me potentially. It also could have opposite effect, but hey you only know if you try right?!?!? People with endo shouldn't have IUDs... fair enough. But I just spent $4,000 OUT of pocket for someone to tell my endo for when I was younger had not returned. So BAM let's rule that out.... So second opinion much sought after.... and after the feelings of rage and being cheated my Doc McHappySurgeon, I have refocused and gathered my thoughts... So step one : Find new doctor we like <3

Step two: Body & Mind. So I was researching girlie to switch to, and I came across a Doctor who works in an area called Energy Medicine. I started to read up on the practicing of it, and I firmly believe it can be of some benefit to me. I have aways said that my body is completely out of harmony with each other... Its always fighting and raging war on other parts of my body.. Exhausting.... I started Acupuncture about 4 weeks ago, and did the first standard 3/week and now awaiting my next one next week. I personally have noticed some benefits to acupuncture in "harmonizing" my body. My inflammation on my behind has gone down, and for the last 2 days I have been able to work out. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! So I am game to try finding the correct energy in my body.  Appointment is this Friday :D Kind of cool. Check out the 9 primary energy systems and to me it toally makes sense how if one if out of wack, the rest will follow...

I did yoga today at lunch. Breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. <3 me some yoga. Thank god to, cause one more person pissed me off I was going to snap.. All ready yelled at my best friend and hubbie this morning... Period started.. isnt my fault. Stop pissing me off. I could feel how out of wack my body was... Moves I could hold for minutes before, now I shake greatly trying level one. Shows how out of harmony and zen my body got just from prior surgery & post surgery recovery. Birkam yoga is on my list, HOWEVER need to get strength & stamina back!!!
Hokay gotta run and get some work done.... Lots to do :D More to say, but not enough time for today....

NAMASTA *nods*




Energy Medicine